Mr Yu true happiness kids achievements

 Mr Yu: achievement kids true happiness
- The reason I'm here and we talk, because I am a father, and my family more than most of a child. I have two children, daughter 13, son 6 years old, of course, I did not violate family planning policy, as the son of my wife when the students studying abroad. so I have both the educational experience of her daughter, but also the experience of teaching his son, who I can see a lot of problems children and has been hope that through their own effort to correct.
I was able to talk about family education in this experience, because I did too much contact with children. From the beginning I taught at the university until then run the new East, the East now gone from the new out of more than 700 million students. I've seen a lot of happy students, but also see a lot of the students was delayed; see the success of many parents because the child feel very happy, also saw many parents because the child is not successful and you'd rather die ; I have seen many poor families, but the final amount to anything because the child lives full of happiness; I also see a lot of billionaire families, parents and even the last question because the child suffering from schizophrenia. a lot of parents, and I said, Yu teacher I put all the money donated to you, as long as you can my child into a normal, happy child. I often said to them, now you say this is already too late, because the child is from birth to the basic shape of the age of 18, all things must be done before the age of 18.
There is an old saying in China: 3-year-old to see a large, 7-year-old look old. Now the transformation of Chinese society in the great period, from an agricultural society look into the business community. and now the Chinese business ethics and business ethics on their own without a full understanding of the Chinese people in the business community in the swindling of the signs are everywhere. Many small businesses are caught in the middle of a panic, and in this a panic, how should we educate our children? For example, we educate our children and sincere, but sincerity and then the child bullied by others on the outside; we educate our children good, the good results we found that children are not recognized by the society. We will reflect on is not the opportunistic thing to teach children, is not the point to teach children more aggressive. some of the things we adults do, sometimes unwittingly give children shows bad things, the child's own values and world outlook, outlook on life significant impact on the formation. Therefore, we educate our children approach a problem.
mm family education a top priority for the current character education
on family education in China has entered the era of very complex, there are standards of society, family there are standards, and that these standards also may be wrong standard. For example, our standard is to require children in the class into the top five, the child can be admitted as long as Beijing University, Tsinghua University is considered a success, to Harvard, Yale to more successful. Although this is standard, but in my opinion, is wrong standard. Why the error, because it eventually becomes the only standard of the family. And there are many standards for children's growth, for example, whether the character is a noble standards, whether individual health is a standard, things have creativity, imagination is a standard, there is no spirit of bearing hardships, there is no diligence is a standard, there is no fall to the ground and the spirit of courage to get up a standard. China Today's society, the limited success of a particular narrow range, test scores for kids, good grades is the standard; children five-year-old will play the piano, you will be rewarded. We Chinese never the adult world How many people have a true friend as a standard of success, our adult world standard is that people have money, and rank, of wealth.
I fell into such deep pain, many people see after my first words I said: : a penniless, must rely on their own effort to make money people, would someone come and tell me: , the real recognition of my success. I personally think he is a winner, not because I have a new East, I made money, but I have a basic principle in life, I always think I am a good person, I do not mind the idea of an evil man, from small to large, I have not done a thing to hurt others. Of course, sometimes accidentally said something on the words hurt others, then it is possible. blurt out some words, other people will feel uncomfortable, I can apologize to him, but wicked things I certainly have not done.
I think I succeeded the second point is that I am very willing to help others. In fact, no matter what the status of a person are can help others. I can afford to contribute to the earthquake-stricken areas in Gansu 300 million, for construction of a new Gannan East Hope Primary School, I would be happy to help. When we have nothing, you can also help others. We all need to do things that they have to, but there is another way, I can give a simple example. I was brought up in particular labor of love, I do farm work, do chores, when I was 14 years old to get the planting of our county championship, 17 years old, I was good county tractor hand, I led my parents hard-working hard. I am the person so far has been good or bad, the teacher simply does not care about me. But I want to rise to the attention of teachers and students, so I've been up since the first grade classroom a health. to the North after I develop a habit, dorm daily cleaning, the cleaning done it four years. so we never row over health dormitory duty form. Additionally, every day, carrying my water bottle to go to the students dormitory to fetch water and treat it as a kind of physical exercise. We used to see me draw water, and finally also appeared in such a situation, sometimes I forgot to fetch water, the students said: is the students help each other for granted. Some people say I am silly, someone asked me what good kick. I believe there will be good, you do a good deed, it may appear this year in return, there may be 10 years later. If you do a good deed, the required return on the same day, then you must be a snob, but also a narrow-minded people. Do not expect anything in return rewards will come. When you have a difficult time around people think you are good people, they can not reach out and help you? Of course, I fetch water and did not think I'm in trouble they will come to help me. but 10 years later, in 1995, New Oriental has done a certain scale I hope to find partners to go to the United States and Canada to find those of my classmates. Then I came back specifically to lure them a lot of dollars for each day in the United States is very generous in spending money, let them know in China can make money, I suppose this can make them come back. Then they come back, but gave me a very unexpected reasons. They said: land, water play for 4 years. foundation, New Oriental will continue to expand and make the U.S. company, made the scale of today.
from my experience I would like to tell parents, if your child does not educate, out to stir up trouble, others blame your child would say: like son, a mother like daughter! and the parents of the child is closely related to family education is correct. We teach children is to teach character and ethics, whether the child's good character and moral education is the key to the success of the child life. as long as he is a respected figure, His life will live particularly well. Parents can think about is you want to be a popular person, or against a person to be everywhere? many parents are teaching children virtually petty, teach children to take advantage of the Education how children think of ways to outdo others, to trample on others, the final result is that children do not understand how to survive in this world. you give the child what the child is the kind of person the next.
my daughter is now studying the level of in the middle, but I never want to work as a daughter of the standard. My wife and I the opposite philosophy of education. My wife is the daughter into the top five will get angry, and I am just the opposite, I have my daughter the first 15 very happy every time I said to her daughter: good or bad, into the North, or into the regular university, there is no essential difference. real life from a child can pull large, people doing things with his character issues are related. character of the set from the power of example, parents as role models children can not escape. we ask what the child has no effect, because the parents do not. For example, while the parents playing mahjong while scold their children to learn, the children certainly do not want to learn. When the father said: ; I for nothing, you are as good for nothing I want it? I was in college it? Parents are their children the best example. but I encountered many problems setting an example, my job is to use the computer, but I turn on the computer, my daughter will think I'm doing other things. Although I tell my daughter is at work, but my daughter did not believe it. no way, as long as my daughter was learning, I took a book next to my daughter see, this way, there is a sense in which the rules, models play a very important role.
my parents I play a very important role. My parents are not literate, but the advantage of parents who I monasteries, the criteria to be my life. I for my father example. My father was a carpenter, is the frame beam, and he is 15 years around our experts. My father was a can not wage a happy person, because people have to rack your big Ka drink, my father money was not a happy drunk. because not return the money to get home, my mother told my father fought, my father looked strong, my mother is very thin, the results every time my father beat my mother, my father never fight back . I learned from my father, no matter what others say, he especially does not matter, at any time does not hurt my mother. My mother is particularly strong personality who sometimes say I listen all kind of sad, but I father never even had a mouth. So, my wife how training me, I is not talk back, and I think I should learn from his father. his father's generosity became one of the advantages to me. my mother gave me something more, there are two things that I learned from an early age. First, industrious and brave. the city's parents that their children family education, industry, courage is the core of things. a lot of people will say that our children are too busy even to learn lessons to, how brave and hardworking ah? home I have done to help him, how he industrious and brave ah? although I am very favorable conditions, but I still think of ways to let their children are industrious and brave. like me at that time, you do not work, then to starve to death, not destined to the rural environment that I can do my parents.
my mother brought me to the second point, be willing to help others. My mother is a special love to help others who have a child two things that impressed me the most. The first thing, and once the next big rainstorm, I was eight years old, the period most vulnerable to the parents of the child. At the time, every house basking in corn, my mother took my sister, I, my father, we put together a family of four neighbors are all taken away the rice, until the rice to receive our home and found that rice has been soaked. At that time I did not understand, my mother gave me about two points, first of all, people have a difficult time you have to help people, not their home, and if we do not help their income, their house will get wet food a year. Second, if the neighbors get along well It is not possible to help each other in times of difficulties. My mother told me with real action, to 20 pounds of food, the mother half of the food actually ceded to the neighbor, I was very reluctant, and the mother said: meters, regardless of their meters to starve to death someone will be. the most respected people.
do any one thing, you have to think about it, I did not hurt others. For example, we adults sometimes like to say that neighbors and colleagues in the back ill, and that the time not avoid the child. I told my wife to such a situation occurred, we discuss the East West family short parents, which were good character, which one character is not good, which were stingy, which were not cheap. Results one time my daughter came back from school, the students told me what her class is good, which is not good students, which students stingy, which students snob. I told her that the students can not say bad things about the students every day with you, if you think their body shortcomings, in love, more importantly, you have to learn the advantages of students. My daughter immediately ask: ill? Mood education
As mentioned above, is now a top priority of family education to do is to educate children with good character, and the second is to the heart of education. my daughter was born more introverted, is a very quiet child, my son very outgoing, climbed up and down several times every day, my daughter do things slowly, my son is more irritable, which are inherently different. In addition, the child's IQ is different, I have not seen My daughter and son out what IQ differences, because they are relatively small age gap. We will find such a situation, in a class, some children will always be the first or second, his intelligence is really high. The No matter how hard our kids are in the middle, or even behind. In such circumstances, how should parents do? child is different, but as long as your child not to idiot level, as long as the children into the classroom can be a normal to be able to make important event. such as Hu's only two months on the study, but in the end become the most powerful businessmen, but also harbor great ambitions, this is a good example.
I am a Chinese company Vice-President of Association, the Association has more than a thousand entrepreneurs, Peking University Tsinghua University Fudan graduate less than twenty, and the rest are all college graduates, and even the peasants, workers, college students, secondary school Health, etc., but they have become successful entrepreneurs. so the decision can only be a part of life education can not decide everything.
we parents must have a skill, in any case, both to push their children to progress, but also maintain the child's self-esteem from harm. you have to ensure that the child first happy, even the last one was happy, let the children feel that life is beautiful in the world, to cultivate children's love of life, is one of the most important tasks parents . American movie The encounter in front of a smiling person, that person is a stock broker, stock broker when he was very happy that, so he worked to when a stock broker. Then he met a stock broker training the people in the the man began to look down on him, and later found him playing Rubik's cube is very powerful, and this person happens to have the same hobby, they were the person's Cube skills deeply attracted, the two of them became good friends. the people have access to the opportunity to become America's most famous stock broker to achieve the dream of billionaires.
this movie is based on the true story, and in the film's end, the man spent half an hour about his their own stories. He inspired each of us, true happiness is not sent by someone else, but his efforts earned. and now the parents of the child is a very spoiled child whatever I ask. such as the children spotted a toy, parents do not buy he does not go, no way the parents can only give the final buy. so that children have a psychological, as long as he insisted that the parents will be concessions. I buy things in my son before he will be analyzed what is reasonable, if the firm is not unreasonable to buy, if you can not be reasonably easy to buy him, I must let the child complete a task was to buy him. such as when my daughter to school in a foreign country, every child in the class people have a laptop. Although my home desktop computers, laptop computers but would be more convenient, but not short of money at home, do not buy her is not right. I told her that Daddy will buy you, but you You know, this world is not without paying anything, you are now a big boy, you need to get what you want to pay labor. If she can recite 30 New Oriental English inspirational articles to buy her. Results less than two weeks, she was back in verse, and I bought it for her laptop. This form of education so that children learn to pay to get the truth, but also the way the kids like to do another one into her the driving force things.
appropriate to encourage and inspire the unlimited potential to encourage education
mm on how to encourage children to question, I first tell a story. United States, a famous physicist, beginning in junior high school, when physics His physical performance is poor, had only a 8 points. physics teacher talked with him and let him take physics. Students learn that I do not like is bad, the teacher particularly smart, he told the student, other students are 60 minutes pass, the next time if you even pass the test to 9 points. Students of a think I can easily draw a hook pass, it is easy, so I agreed, the results of the exam the next 28 points. Although 28 minutes, the teacher or no reason to praise him in front of the class, because the passing score or not. The teacher is very smart, she let the class to the last results of the examination results and do a subtraction, the last test was 90, this is 90, a cut is 0, the last 95, the 93, a cut is -2, which reduced the final to 20 points the rest of a student, that is, the students. The teacher test scores of all poor students to write two on the blackboard and asked the question: color, but also a great incentive colors. The students look to excited, he wanted to test whether my class 48,68,88 are the most improved, I have many room for improvement. the teacher did a smart thing, progress of the child to feel that there is a vast space, from the child liked physics, and eventually became one of the world's greatest physicists.
of education is very important teachers, but parents of education is more important , more emphasis on the parents because the child's words and deeds.
me give a simple example. If your child is the last class, how do you treat your child? most parents and beat the reaction is or curse meal. children know they are wrong, but there is no way, he had 0 points test how do you do? You also continue to hurt him, in the end he might not learn. I suggest that parents friends were standing go think about long-term perspective, the first and the last one in the end the number of gaps. Do not go to college life for children unpromising it? Absolutely not! as I said, as long as the child a good education, regardless of make What are promising. I can give examples of their own. In the college entrance examination, I did not plan the first year, not admitted to the second year, third year was admitted. I spent three years and fight for a year of my classmates, I graduated at the university, we class of 50 students, I was fifth last class, but the results did not hinder me make my career.
's growth is lifetime event, and definitely not you in primary school, the University received a score decision. scores is very important for the children, but not because the child scores low on the view that a mere boy. your parents must be altered, to judge success. children Score one of the high standard of success, but do not use it as a necessary standard, but not as the only standard. or your child will be numerous injuries, because any one examination only one first. If a class has 40 students, are in addition to the first, the remaining 39 children are fool? is failure? Absolutely not! self-mockery, I have a saying: In fact, when the first nor is it really easy, because he went so hard, Wang Qianmian a look, people do not have a catch up, to the back of a look, the whole class in the chase himself, chasing his dead than alive, so there is no good as the first. When the last more than one happy Yeah, a look forward, is to recover the dead than alive, by their own people back and saw a man chasing his own do not, you want this kind of life more handsome Yeah!
course, this view can not be with their children, you must learn how to encourage their children. The countdown to the first test, the next time I will encourage him to the penultimate test, this time he was 20 points test, the next time I will encourage him to test 30 points. Do not that your children, this test was 60 points, you tell him not test the next 90 minutes do not enter the house. you say that some children will of course hard to learn, but some children can not get too mad 90 minutes , how did he do it? not let him enter the house really? You must let him enter the house, you let him enter the house means that you speak to does not count, since the child to know, my mom and dad are not talking counts, then I'll do not care, He will not let me enter the house, so parents are a child stabbed.
so parents have to remember clearly, you must not let the children live and eat, the absolute can not have what to do. educate their children and domesticated animals are exactly the same, many parents do not like a zoo animal trainer. tame animals, an animal trainer in two ways, first, to encourage, and absolute encouragement; second, limit, or even punishment. I once asked a domesticated dolphin trainer, why he training of dolphins leaping from the water, and drilling from the last lap so high? In fact, he said the dolphins do not start, he first on the water inside this circle, who has been training dolphins drilling in the past give it a fish, no drilling is not the last to eat. dolphins are not stupid, and soon learned to eat fish the way, and later formed the dolphins a conditioned reflex. Of course animals is certainly not as clever as we, like, for example, I tell you, this ring you are drilling in the past, I let you on the North, you are sure to drill later, because you know this thing in your favor . dolphins will not know the interests, but the dolphins understand the principle, as long as I drilled this ring I had fish, no drilling in the past will go hungry. followed by an animal trainer put half of the circle from the water, so dolphins continue to drill. dolphin ring is not found in the water, and can only jump. Gradually increasing circle is about 10-20 times to mention, take a year or so, the training of dolphins jumping circle is complete. Are there any Note that when looking at the dolphin show, who jump from the ring of dolphins will swim to the side members to be domesticated fish, because it can eat that stuff every jump.
dolphins from above example, parents should understand the principle of encouraging and limited to children in the process of education is very important. For example, children had 0 points, you have to encourage children to consider the next 10 hours, the child of a think test was quite easy to 10 points , you can add some conditions. For example, the child eat McDonald's, you can use it as a temptation, promised the children to test 10 points to take him to eat McDonald's, and then little by little, then add the child's score up. For example, test your child for 60 minutes, you do not say next time you want to test to 90 minutes, or the child gave it. you want your child, and 60 minutes has been pretty good, next time you can not take the to 70 minutes, I do not put your classes in the students than I look at your progress today than yesterday, and you progress tomorrow than today, the child's scores will go up in the nurture. He went up one point each, you have to encourage him. When a lower score on the test, you should tell the child, this may be the occasional mistake, parents support you, do not hurt the enthusiasm of children to learn.
to encourage the same time, parents must set rules for children. My son especially likes to eat ice cream, my wife let him eat a lot every day, to eat bad teeth. I do not go on like this approach to require him to eat an ice cream one day only, and must be finished After half an hour to eat dinner. My son was just 4 year old, do not know what the concept of half an hour. I told him, that where a long needle is half an hour walk. I look at the clock while his son, half-hour read 100 times. finally coming to a half hour, and can not wait to eat the ice cream. The next day, they become read a dozen times, and to become the third day to see two or three times, and the fourth day He knew that anyway, do not eat short-lived fad to go for fun, until he remembered to eat, when half an hour has passed. as long as the right thing to do, parents should encourage children to give their children the same time set the rules. established the After the rules, parents must not be arbitrarily changed, change will be a problem.
Finally, I want to talk about the other parent will commit a wrong, called to SARS. parents particularly want her to become a small genius, in fact, this is the parents vanity at play. Chinese parents will be guilty of the two problems, first thing he will not let any children will, want their children to get success in a particular field. So many parents to force their children to this school from primary school that, no sense. child's most important is to let him grow up slowly. My daughter likes to play the piano, began playing from 5-year-old, played the impact on the taste, and was admitted to a level, every week to attend classes, sit for an hour each time could not move, the results of the interest in my daughter play the piano all killed out. My daughter did not want to learn, but my wife forced her to learn. I asked my wife, your children 10 years old After a piano when ten, after 10 years of age she still does not learn to play the piano learn? If she was 10 years of age do not learn that from her 1 year old to 10 years old to study piano what is the use? if you do not want children to be a great pianist, you let the children through the age of 10 ten tests is not justified. Second, you let the children learn so let her lose interest in the piano, she does not love playing the piano. I daughter said, Dad does not force you to learn, do not let you Grading. father regret this life thing is not playing an instrument, play a musical instrument can resolve depressed. to learn the piano in principle, to make you Grading Test, but to help the channel you are looking for their feelings. the future you will enter the social circle, if you can sing at a friend when the piano accompaniment, so you will get the respect of others. If you do not want to learn, can not maintain your current level. my daughter is like the piano, the assignment tired to play the piano for half an hour. After that she once every week with a teacher, learning the piano more and more concentrated the interest.
summary, family education The most important thing is character education, followed by the feeling of education, and the third is to encourage education. Finally, the parents let the child learn to endure hardship.
Finally, I want to tell parents, friends, everything you, your life, wealth and status to all children, your children will not necessarily happy life. you only teach children how to be a successful person, teach your child learn to pursue their own goals, learn to enjoy to achieve goals of happiness and satisfaction after you children will be really happy.
mm book review: a touch,
1) Chinese parents survive in the cracks, there would be any parents dared to take each of the offerings that I never read scores, just look at kids are not happy , the reason know all that, but it is difficult practice environment does not allow, just like kids do not learn Mathematical Olympiad is the same way.
2) to remind themselves from time to time, there are differences between children and child intelligence, can not force the child, but his son is not angry working hard, a lot of time spent watching TV, reading comics on the
3) life he is a very casual, less principled people, so that my son is also very loose, learning bad habits, the reason also on himself.